Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

From day to day, I think about what might make a good post for the next day. On Thursday, I overheard a conversation that just screamed "FRIDAY's BLOG ENTRY, FRIDAY'S BLOG ENTRY."

There I was, busting my hump at work, searching the internet for cheap airfare tickets, and typing a text message to a certain blog crush. You know 'really busy' doing work related work.

Then trouble walks by.

I overhear a lady from our sales department talking to another coworker about 'how miserable she was for having to come to work today.' I actually really like said Sales Lady. She's good at what she does, very friendly, and a real sweetheart. She's also the top dog (not bitch) when it comes to the sales department, so she brings in some bigtime bucks. I heard her say how much her kids cried when she left home. I heard her say how she's not sure it's worth it anymore. I heard her say it's just too much to have to report to work everyday. OH. Did I mention Sales Lady is so good at what she does, she doesn't have to come to work like the rest of us schmucks for a regular 8 hour day. She averages about four. Not worth it??? The woman makes probably five times what I do. Sheesh.

Granted, I don't have children. I don't know what it's like to walk a mile in another woman's Pradas. I don't know what it's like to have two kids screaming that daddy's not home for four hours. But for the love of God, is making 6 figures plus working part time that difficult???

On a non-related note...I'm seeing all sorts of pictures this morning just perking up my day. Dirk's chest, Six's smiling face.

Woo hoo, it's Friday kids...the weekend is here...almost

Hope yours is everything you want it to be.

Smooches!

Gay Arms

I want gay arms.

You know what I'm talking about. Those big bulging biceps and freakishly fabulous forearms. Ok, alliteration rant over.

Gay Arms...

Robert from Project Runway. Another example.

Ok, so maybe Robert's not the best example, but my point is, a lot of gay men turned gym queens bulk up their arms (and pecs and abs)....to the point of having abnormally large arms, out of proportion with the rest of their bodies. I have done the same with another part of my body known as 'gay gut'.

America's Next Top...

A perfect idea for a new reality show on Logo, don't you think?

I was watching a commercial for America's Next Top Model (a guilty pleasure, but I only watch when they do a marathon), and thought hmm...we've got top everything else, so why not Top "Top"???

Onto business...

There's nothing wrong with a little crush. That hot sweaty stud at the gym, the guy at the grocery who's glance lingers just a bit longer than necessary, or the 22 year old college student with the perfect bubble butt who sits in front of you at church (PRAISE JESUS!)

Yesterday I alluded to a blog crush. Well I have several of course, but this newest one is a bit different. It probably sounds silly to you that someone can 'click' with a complete stranger over the internet, without hanging out with them face to face. I know it's easy to get wrapped up in witty banter and clever writing. I'm sure there's the possibility of knowing a good chunk about someone, then filling in the blanks with your imagination. I'm sure some people think that's crazy talk.

Well I say poo on that.

It's fun to make new blog friends. It's a much different approach to bars or parties or real live personal interaction. You bet it's easier to type words than speak them. So what's the big deal?

Over the last few days, through online chatting, emails, and some very nice phone conversations...a fellow blogger and I have had some really amazing moments getting to know each other. Now before any of you naysayers get on your Huffy bikes...I've chatted and emailed with other blog crushes, but there's just something different.

We both realize we're hundreds of miles apart. We both understand we're just getting to know each other. We both really really really enjoy making each other laugh and smile.

So you know what? There's nothing wrong with that. Having a friend that can brighten your day when you think about them is a wonderful feeling. If they're in Tucson or Tupelo, it doesn't matter. As long as you're both happy and know the boundaries, it's all good in the hood.

Here's to my newest blog crush, may we continue down this path of friendship, wherever it may take us.

Cheers!

The Bitch is Back, Part Deux

Last month, I posted about my favorite barista (Mrs. B) coming back from maternity leave. The one time not so nice coffeemaker is much more pleasant, but I couldn't give her a new name.

Apparently my good ole buddy and blog mentor Dirk Mancuso (I've already hyper linked you a dozen and one times...so if you other people want to check him out, look to the right under the Cool Blog Buds section)....Dirk came back.

Well kinda. He posted a haiku claiming he'd returned.

Now not to imply Dirk is a bitch, cause he ain't. Unless you steal his Disney memorabilia collection, then he'll scratch your eyes our and go crazy on your ass. I will say I'm glad, no thrilled, neigh ecstatic he's back. I'm taking full credit since I took the courtesy to blogroll him, even after he mysteriously disappeared following the date with the lotion in the bucket guy.

Welcome back Dirk!

***

On a related note, and possibly the subject of tomorrow's post. ..I have yet another blog crush. Of course all my previous ones are awesome guys, but this guy just seems to sparkle. Thanks for the awesome chat sessions last night. And thanks for letting me learn a little bit more about you.

Kisses all around...

Weekend Update

Howdy!

I can't believe the weekend is already over, but alas it's 9:59.

Here's how I spent my past two days.

Friday night...came home from work exhausted.
Saturday...slept in, thanks to all the non-stop rain.
Cancelled lunch date with (yikes, I can't think of a fake name)...with a guy I've been talking to for a month...we had bad weather and I didn't want to drive two hours to see him, he offered to come down, I told him no I didn't want him to die in a tornado. (note to self, come up with fake name for this guy.)


*crickets chirping*

Things picked up Saturday evening.
Called Gal Pal.
Replied to email from Sean.
Strongly hinted to Sean I have strong feelings for Sean.
Had dinner with 'the guys', my pals Ramon and Terry.
Ate some yummy carrot cake.
Came home, changed clothes to go out with Gal Pal and another friend.
Drank two delicious Wedding Cake Martinis.
Yelled at yippy bitches shrieking too loudly.
Felt old for yelling at yippy shrieking bitches.
Felt old for eyeing young college studs.
Almost got tricked into going to a bar I don't care for with Gal Pal and other friend.
Came home, went to bed.

Sunday...
Went to church.
No, the walls did not fall in.
Sat behind young twinkish college guy.
Tried not to stare too much at his perfect bubble butt when standing and singing hymns to praise Jesus.
Watched a quick short with the message "If you haven't failed, you haven't lived."
Got irritated that it hit home and stung.
Came home, put shower curtain liner up to replace the old one.
Wondered why I had the liner for three weeks before replacing the old one.
Did three loads of laundry.
Went to the tanning bed.
Burned a lil from staying in too long.
Went to gym and did the stair master for 30 minutes.
Came home and showered.
Read up on Kevin/Six Shooter's archives.
Lusted after Kevin.
Got my hair highlighted (read: cover gray) and eyebrows waxed by "Terry".
Went to grocery.
Made soft shell tacos and green beans for dinner.
Got a call from Thad while making tacos.
Declined to meet Thad for drinks.
Put fresh sheets on the bed (something I do every Sunday night, for a fresh start to the week.)
Added some Cool Blog Buds to the blog sidebar (all by myself).
Replied to Email from Mr. MIA Dirk Mancuso (if you can stop blogging, I can figure out how to add stuff by myself...just kidding sweetie I still luv you).

Hope your weekend was all you wanted it to be.

Smooches.

F***ing Fabulous Friday

Ok...

Friday Headlines...

Dirk Mancuso appears to be MIA. I think he survived the date, but perhaps his blog did not. If you want to hear more from him, email him and comment to keep the magic alive. 'Cause it'll be a cold, dark world with out him. "W" scampers off to a safe place.

On the flip side, my new found blog buddy (I guess I can call him that, or else I'm a stalker), Kevin the Six Shooter, is encouraging a clothing optional Friday. God invented clothes for people like me (cause they're so fun to wear), but for mighty fine folks like Kev, that's why He invented HNT, nude beaches, and Sans Apparel Friday.

I managed to actually speak to Sean by phone yesterday (thanks to a workplace related task), and he sounded fine, but I'm still just a bit worried. So far things have been bloodless, and it seems like it won't get violent, which is good.

Have a great weekend, clothed or not!

Another Night in Bangkok

This is just a quick update. I heard from Sean, he seems to be in better spirits, and tells me the attitude of the people isn't one of concern or panic. The military men out and about have yellow ribbons tied on their arms. Yellow is the King's color, so it's a sign of support for the King, but not necessarily the PM which was overthrown. I'm not sure if it has something to do with the April elections that put former PM Thaskin in power, even though he lost the election and had fewer votes. Hmm, does this sound familiar? Campaign 2000 perhaps?

Sean is back to work and things are returning to 'normal'.

Thanks again to all who said a prayer or took a moment to think of his safety. I ask you to continue doing so until this is all sorted out.

I'm not sure how this will impact my plans for a visit next Spring.

One Night in Bangkok

Hey all...I know the tone of my posts usually include some humor (or at least I think so). Today's has a very serious subject. A very good friend of mine lives in Bangkok (no, he doesn't know John Mark Karr, but he did live and work very near him)...and in case you don't know, there's a military coup going on to overthrow the government. The Prime Minister is in the US at the UN, so it was 'perfect' timing for the coup.

I was at the gym yesterday around 10-10:30 when I saw the Breaking News on CNN. My thoughts immediately went to "Sean", and I prayed for his safety. It was a prayer I repeated through most of the day. Since Bangkok is exactly 12 hours ahead of where I live, he was just going to bed as all this started. I finally got an email from him...here's what he wrote.


***
What I didn't realize was that across town, tanks were rumbling into the city and parking in front of the government buildings. At the same time Thai tv stations were all playing music videos about the King (the first sign of trouble), and a military coup was happening while the PM was in NY. I ignorantly went to bed feeling refreshed.

At 11.30 a co-worker called with the news. Just after midnight another friend sent a phone text message warning me of the curfew and telling me to watch the news. Why they thought I might be out at that hour on a school... I can't imagine.

This morning was a little more quiet than usual. I heard the standard Muslim call to prayer at the local Mosque just after 5 am. At the street corner by my apt, there is usually a lively pack of motorcycle taxis busily rushing people out of the neighborhood. Today, only a few men huddled under the lamp post. There were even fewer customers.

I turned on the TV in my apt. I have only Thai stations and all of them simultaneously broadcasting identical patriotic songs and videos. One was in English...
More important than the sun, moon, and stars
loved by your people near and far
history will show the greatest king you are
King Bhumibol

International cable stations were black.

The free way that I can see from my apt had very few cars--but that is typical. At least there were not tanks or soldiers. I called into work and found out that we had a public holiday. Violence is not expected, but everyone is "invited to stay home."

The morning sky was overcast. Perhaps the political future of Thailand is just as grey and uncertain. One has to wonder if there will be sunny days ahead or just dark reign.

The construction site across the street is usually filled with activity, pounding, sawing lumber. Today it is strangely empty. A vacant lot, absent of builders, lack of progress. A coup, vacant government buildings, a power vacuum.

As I stood on my balcony, I could see into the neighbors garden as he got into his car and prepared to drive away with his daughter. He wore a bright yellow shirt--the color of the King. Thais consistently wear this color on Monday--the designated King's Day--as a sign of devotion and adoration of the beloved Monarch. Today is Wednesday. I watched the one spot of hopeful color as it drove in the grey uncertainty. The hope of sunshine. The hope of the Monarchy. Perhaps sunny days are coming.

And this afternoon I ventured out. By 11.00 am things seemed normal. I bought some bread and a phone card (what a day to run low). The store was filled. The internet rooms were packed. People are not panicked.

At first, I was not concerned. But the more I think, the more disturbed it makes me. Any time one resorts to physical power, it seems to weaken your argument. While we had daily protests against the PM, his party still won the election this year. And yet, our own history is filled with revolution. And even a warning that any government that fails to serve the people should be overthrown. Perhaps, we should learn a lesson. Is Bush scheduled to be out of the country any time soon?

I think I'm doing ok.

"Sean"

Please keep Sean in your thoughts and prayers while this situation of uncertainty continues.

Thanks.

Brokeback Mountain, Peach Beer, Grilled Salmon and a Side of Steamed Veggies Please

Ok this is getting really weird. I was invited to Thad's bday celebration over the weekend, which included his girlfriend, and a couple of his poker buddies. Before I left, a friend of mine "Ramon", told me "Hey, I bet he'll call you as soon as you leave tonight to see if you had a good time."

We get to the steakhouse and are seated in a booth for six. The poker buddies have larger builds, so Thad invites me to sit next to him, "So I can be the bitch." I thought to myself, you said it, I didn't.

We order. It's a steakhouse. I get steak. Not a huge steak or red meat eater, but when in Rome. Thad proceeds to order a fruity margarita, grilled salmon with a side of steamed veggies, and a Caesar salad. Hmm...ok healthy choices mostly, so what's up with the lite meal in a steakhouse??? During the meal, he brushes my leg once with his hand, another time with his leg. It's not the uncomfortable oh-my-gosh-i-just-touched-another-dude's-leg and jerk away...it was a comfortable movement that lasted for more than just a few seconds.

After we eat, we head to a certain sports bar that features servers in tight tops and shorts (no, not hooters, but a knock off). Thad gets orders a Heiney (again, more giggles from W), then gets two or three peach beers.

During this time, I'm trying to play nice with his girlfriend and other friends. Chatting about poker and movies (two things that are greek to me).

Speaking of movies, they asked what's the last one I saw. I took a drink of Bud Lite and smiled and said. "Brokeback Mountain." "Oh wow," squealed his girlfriend, "we went to see it at the theater too, we both liked it." Hmm. Ok sure.

At this point I was getting tired and confused, so I excused myself and left.

Before I got home, guess what? Yup, Thad calls and the first words out of his mouth, "I Hope you had a good time tonight. I hope my friends weren't to lame for you." I said not at all, I had fun. He adds, "Well, you and I should grab drinks later this week, just you and I." Um, sure, that'd be great.

You may be wondering, what does his GF look like. Well I want to be nice. She was wearing black eyeliner and lip gloss. She's a beer drinkin, poker playing, strip club going kinda guy. *Coughs Coughs*

So I've decided it's cool to make new friends. I can be nice and friendly, but if there's something else going on. No way.

Why is it all the good men I find are already taken, or living on the other side of the world?

I Got Tagged Too!

tagged by Dirk Mancuso (which soo sounds like a porn star name)...not tagged by a gang.

1. Do you still have tonsils? Yes.
2. Would you bungee jump? Probably not, because the cords would break due to my bad luck.
3. If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be? A concert pianist or a professional athlete.
4. How many tattoos do you have? None. If I got one, I'd get barbed wire around my bicep, just as soon as I got a bicep.
5. Your favorite fictional animal? I don't like fictional animals, they're just put on this earth to scare and make fun of me.
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? The musings of Dirk Mancuso or Jack and Karen from Will & Grace.
7. Do you consider yourself well organized? Yes, I plan out most everything. Executing is another story.
8. Any Addictions? Starbucks coffee and unavailable men.
9. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? News, what's that? Uh, I like CNN, most definitely not Faux News.
10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus? Neither. Remember, not a fan of animals, caged or otherwise.
11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? A band director.
12. Best Movie You've Seen This Year? I hardly ever watch movies. Brokeback Mountain was pretty good.
13. Favorite alcoholic drink? Rum and diet coke or a nice strawberry margarita.
14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Think to myself, Oh God what day is it?
15. Siblings? 1 sister, love her dearly.
17. Have you ever gone to therapy? No. There's not a trained professional who can help this crazy bitch.
18. If you could have one super power what would it be? Being invisible, or something non-lame like those Wondertwins. Who wants to be a bucket of ice or a rope of fire?
19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? No.
20. Have you ever gone camping? Once. I was in the 7th grade, camping with high schoolers from church. When I woke up and found they'd all gone inside a cabin to sleep, I joined them.
21. Gas prices! First thought? Sad that we get excited when they fall under 2.30
22. Your favorite cartoon character? Eek the Cat or Cartman.
23. What was your first car? 1980 Monte Carlo with rally wheels (whatever they are...I just know the rednecks at school kept offering to buy it).
24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? Why should I care, I can't do it legally.
25. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? The Simpsons.
26. Do you go to church? Yes, and no the walls do NOT fall in when I go, which is almost on a weekly basis.
27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Tori Amos, Jude Law, and Monica Seles.
28. What errand/chore do you despise? Sweeping and cleaning the shower.
29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? Luckily I don't use an alarm much, but tomorrow I'll think "oh shit, I have to go to cycling."
30. Last time you puked from drinking? I don't remember, but one time I puked in the Applebees bathroom (nachos supreme and about 3 strawberry mega-ritas worth). Let's just say it didn't all go in the toilet...I was totally embarrassed.
31. What is your heritage? One 32nd Cherokee, some Italian, Irish, and British thrown in.
32. Favorite flower? I love a nice blue hydrangea.
33. Disney or Warner Bros? I don't watch movies, but I guess WB.
34. What is your best childhood memory? I loved Christmas with my family and extended family. Now I dread the yearly event.
35. Your favorite potato chip? Hmm, right now I like Wheat Thins Crisps.
36. What is your favorite candy? Peppermints..not really, but I eat them as breath fresheners. 37. Do you burn or tan? Tan.
38. Astrological sign? Aries.
39. Do you own a gun? Uh, NRA is my middle name. No, cause I'd end up shooting myself.
40. What do you think of hot dogs? While it's fun to say weiner, I'm not a weenie-Man. Although my nephew just loves singing the weenie Man Song.

Thanks to Dirk for tagging my ass (hehe)...and for an easy post.

Till next time...take care.

Over 100 Served...

No, I'm not talking about number of anything devious, but I looked at my stat counter...and woo-hoo, I hit the big 1-0-0!

I know that's not many at all, but considering the circumstances, I'm happy to get my small yet faithful reader(s).

I shout out to my good ole pal Dirk Mancuso at least every other post or two, so check him out if you don't already. He's been wanting to blogroll me for a few weeks now, and I tell him no, because I don't have that many posts to read. I gave him the go ahead, AFTER, my other good ole pal Jim the Persian Guy already blogrolled me. Very flattering for me. Jim and Dirk both have a huge readership and are very interesting reads. Check them out!

On a side note with 100 served, I broke down and hit the McDonald's drive through after a whole week of NO fast food. I've been eating a lot of fruits and veggies and bringing my lunch to work, along with working out, as part of my new 'healthy' me. In fact, I've had a spinach salad with tomatoes, broccoli sprouts, tomatoes, and a little lite mozzarella. Hope I don't catch eColi...I saw this on the news today.

It's almost the weekend...yippee!

Three beers, two guys, and one confused blog entry

When last we left our fearless blogger, he was in the middle of a quandary, a big ole WTF?

So Monday after work, I meet up with "Thad" at a local brewery. I chose a dark ale, Thad selected a fruit flavored lighter beer. (like i know my beer brew terms...whatever).

We chat about this and that...a little about work...poker...how he was very impressed when I recognized him at Barnes & Noble a few months ago, and came over to say hi. (little does he know a friend spotted him coming in when we were having coffee on a Sunday and was like oh, check that out! So I practically spilled my white chocolate mocha, knocked over small children, swept magazines off the racks, and hurdled over the Bargain Book Bin to say, oh hi, how are you?"

I ask how the girlfriend is doing...he replies, 'oh she's fine...she's at home now (apparently they live together)...so I said oh do you live together...he says...well that's like our relationship...on again, off again, sometimes I don't know what I want, other times I don't want her around. It's a mess.

Change of subject please...

Reality TV? Sure! I fessed up that I'm a huge fan of Project Runway, and he says, "oh that's on Bravo, right? I don't get it anymore, sucks too, because I miss watching Blow Out and Queer Eye. I just smiled politely and nodded.

Three beers later, (we paid for our own first round, he volunteered to buy the 2nd, so I of course got the third), we headed downstairs to play some pool, and he got another beer. I suck at pool...I haven't played in probably 28 years, but hey I had to be nice. So after some trick shots and some not so trick shots, he won and it was time to go after two games. He still had 3/4 a beer left and hands it to me and says here, you need to help me finish this so we can go.

Whatever.

He walked me to my jeep and said I had fun, let's do it again soon.

Whatever.

Cry for help? Or just really friendly guy? I'm guessing it's the latter

Now I could list a host of other 'oddities' about Thad's sexuality. I could also cite The DaVinci Code, the Pledge of Allegiance, an STD pamphlet, a menu from China Garden, and the back of Malox bottle and tell you the sky is blue. I cannot however, tell you what's going on in Thad's mind.

Till next time...

All The Good Ones Are Married...Or Straight!

Last week, I ran into a guy I've met on several different occasions...Mostly business. Let me tell you, he strikes a perfect balance of what I'd look for in a guy. Friendly, very attractive, outdoorsey (which is SOO not me, but I think it's good to have contrasting interests to compliment one another), soft spoken, and did I mention attractive? He's also pretty hard to peg down....Not really gay...Not really straight...Just 'right'.

So Mr. Ambiguous, we'll call him Thad (because I'm stealing aliases from my buddy Dirk), says out of the blue..."Hey would you like to grab a beer sometime, you know somewhere discreet?" UH...what? I stammered sure, not wanting to sound too eager. He said, ok great, how about this weekend. Before I could respond, he was scribbling something on a post it note, "Here, it's my cell number, give me a call and we'll make plans." I gave him my number, and told him to call whenever...

...Whenever happened to be the very next day. I missed his call, but he rang my cell and not my business line, although he asked for a business related item and added, 'oh let's have dinner this weekend...Call me and we'll figure something out.'

I called him back, but his voicemail didn't pick up, so I had no other way of talking.

Sunday afternoon rolls around and he calls and says "W, I'm soo sorry. I meant to call earlier, but my girlfriend was in an car accident, and I've been with her all day." (Quick note, girlfriend was not hurt, just shaken up)

Hmm...I knew to not read too much into his ambiguity...I told myself he's probably straight.

However, the plot twist here is what Thad said next. "Well, I want to make it up to you for having to back out, so let's definitely have drinks this week, what about after work or something?" I told him that's fine...no big deal...things happen. I know he plays poker a few nights a week, so I said, well what nights do you play, and we'll plan for a different evening. He said, oh no, I don't mind missing those guys and a night of poker to have drinks with you!

Weird, Weird, Weird.

Oh and my mom got an inside cat today. Mom is NOT a cat person. Definitely not an indoor pet person. What is this world coming to???

I've hit the gym five out of the last six days. I'm fearing burnout now. Oh well.

You Spin Me Right Round, Like A Record

This morning, I got up WAY early at 7:15 when my alarm blared annoyingly in my ear...All so I could go to a spin class.

I was having all sorts of issues. For starters, I'm a bit gym-phobic. Yeah, yeah, weird I know, but I'm still adjusting to the new place, and I'm just a little worried about getting settled in still, adjusting to a routine, figuring out all that scary equipment.

So class starts and I'm all strapped in, things are going ok. Then crap! I can't figure out how to work the digital monitor thingy for time, heart rate, etc. etc. Alright, I don't need that to ride a bike...so I pedal on. Next thing I know, my towel slips off the handle bar area and falls to the floor. I hadn't worked up a sweat yet, but I was getting there. Halfway through the class, the instructor, bless her heart, is nice enough to get off her bike and bring me a new one. Then my seat got loose, my handlebar got loose, and the zippers on my track pants kept clanking against the pedals. Sheesh!

Three out of five days doing cardio (and a lil weights) isn't too bad for my first week trying to lose some weight. I know I can't do it all at once...so I'm thinking a few pounds a week should be my goal. I've improved my diet considerably this week, but that might not be the case as I head into the weekend.

Speaking of...hope you all have an uber-fab weekend.

Gal Pal Shout Out

A few times before, I've mentioned my Gal Pal. Today she gets a special star for her continued advice and support. There's a situation at work, that does not involve me whatsoever, but some people who like to stir the pot are trying to get me involved. Bad bad bad.

Rather than speaking up and saying "Look Bitches, if you're gonna backstab, grow a set and stab me in the front, instead of being petty and catty"...the World's Best GP said, "don't say a word." So I didn't.

And might I add GP has it going on. A single mom of two adorable kids, works full time, recently finished a college degree, a rockin' body, and she still has time to do lunch and share advice and be a might fine Gal Pal.

So here's to you GP, let's do lunch tomorrow!

Hello Dolly!

For you musical fans, sorry this ain't about showtunes.

Well....

Maybe it is....kinda....

It involves music...it involves wigs...it involves big productions...

It's none other than Mrs. Dolly Parton!

I claimed to have nothing to blog about, but then my good buddy Dirk Mancuso, who needs no introduction, reminded me about a story from my youth.

*Enter flashback music and swirly dissolve to W as a young boy*

One of the weirdest Dolly memories I have involve my Grandpa, my mom, sister, and Kenny Rogers. We'd just bought the record (gasp, yes record) to "Islands in the Stream", and we listened to it over and over (once, twice, three times a lady). Then Momma W said enough!

Perhaps the most telling sign of my path of life was the fact my sister had a Dolly Parton doll.

Ah, I remember Dolly well, that maroon pantsuit, the bright shiny silver accents, the fully voluptuous....oh wait...not that part...but there was something fascinating and enchanting about Dolly. When "forced" to play Barbie with my sis, I'd always choose Dolly or a barbie with just one arm. Why? No clue. Years of therapy probably wouldn't be able to explain it all.

But yup Dolly makes me jolly.

Gym...Uh, I can't think of anything else to put in the title

This morning, I got up and joined a local gym. I pseudo belong to another one in town, but the hours are terrible and doesn't offer much. After gaining about 150 pounds last week on vacation, I knew what I had to do.

Hoping for a bit more eye candy than the senior citizen center at the last place, I admit I was a bit disappointed. Perhaps it was just timing or something. Either way, I'm not there to meet anyone, just workout and exercise.

Good news, is the gal pal et. al. also attends the same gym and I'm sure we'll have a spin class or two together.

Till Tomorrow...

Life's a Beach, Then You Go Back To Work

Hey all.

At the request of my adoring fan (singular, not plural), I'm putting up a post today.

After last Monday's excitement with the dinner party, things calmed down quite a bit. We woke up Tuesday to cloudy skies, which beckoned us three marys to the mall and not the le mer (that's sea for you non French speakers).

Ah, the outlet malls of Sandestin. Is there nothing greater than the Banana, Republic that is. Overpriced and undersized shirts and pants. I ended up with some dress pants and a belt. Then I sauntered on over to the Gap and purchased a sweater and some underwear. I still ask myself, "how old do you have to be to stop shopping at the Gap?"

The sun came out a little that afternoon, so like Ponce de Leon looking for the fountain of youth. I scurried my arse over to the beach to soak up some lovely melanoma causing UV rays. *Cue Sheryl Crow's Soak up the Sun*

Wednesday and Thursday were also spent at the beach and poolside. I have a nice base tan, so now I'm considering keeping it by going to the tanning bed.

Noleta Has Emerged!

Hi all!

Yes, "Noleta has emerged"! A line from one of my favorite movies (and the inspiration for the blog title). A few minutes into Sordid Lives, Delta Burke storms out of her trailer, throwing out her cheatin', no good husband's belongings, and a neighbor says, "Oh, Noleta has emerged!"

I'm back from vacation. A little tanner, a little fatter, and a heckuva lot more relaxed. Thank goodness that storm called Ernesto moved up the East Coast, rather than churning up through the Gulf of Mexico. I feel bad for all those inland and on the coast too, having to deal with all that wind and rain. Ironically, a couple staying at the same place as me, is from Richmond, VA, and they got hit by a Hurricane while on vacation previously.

I've got lots of stuff to write about the trip, but I'll go ahead throw out a shameless plug for the wonderful little place we stayed. Casa de Playa is absolutely fabulous! Private, perfect, and just 30 steps from the beach. It's on the west end of Panama City Beach, away from all the hotels and high rises, so it's a bit quieter. Of course, the time of year is pretty good too, since it's after the big tourist season. The owners, a lovely gay couple, really know how to balance entertainment with privacy. Their beautiful home is adjacent to the guest house and pool and hottub, and were kind enough to invite my friends and I over for a dinner party last Monday night.

The food was phenomenal to say the least. Pork roast, potato salad, cole slaw, green beans spiced up with tomatoes and peppers, and fried apples. A Southern Boy's Delight! I hate mayonnaise, but the potato salad and cole slaw weren't too bad...in fact it was downright delicious. I made a caramel pie to take over, as any good Southern Gentleman would, and it was a big success. When I followed one of the homeowners in to the kitchen to put the pie in the freezer to chill, I noticed a portable DVD player next to the sink, and lo and behold, there was some Brazilian gay porn just playing away. Again, I'm a gentleman, so I just politely smiled and walked back outside to the deck/pergola and sipped on my margarita.

Several margaritas later and before dinner, I switched do a lovely Australian red wine. Let me setup the small party for you. There were four couples (including my friends I was vacationing with), me, plus a friend of the hosts who happens to play at a local piano bar. Nice looking, tall, built, tan, nice looking, tall, built...seems like a nice guy. The night before I hinted to the hosts that I was single and would like to meet said piano friend. Well the piano man got me confused for one of my coupled friends and spent the better part of ten minutes flirting and with him. Then when he realized the error of his ways, he latched on to me and began his mating ritual dance. After a few drinks and chatting, he started the whole "rubbing his leg against mine" thing, and saying things like, 'you have wonderful lips, I bet they'd feel good around ..." and "I'm really horny". C'mon. Be a little more subtle! I mean sheesh! I was like, oh you're duurrty. After some groping and sloppy kisses, he confides in me, "I'm sorry I think I've had too much to drink or something, because I can't get hard." Um, hello. If "Let's go back to my place, so you can see my apartment" wasn't a turn off, the part about not getting hard definitely was the ace in the hole for making sure there was no ace in the hole.

Of course that's just my side of the story. And there's still the rest of the week to talk about too.