Scary Mary

One of my very first posts (the first, I think) was about my good friend CJ and her encounter with a cross dresser.

Having spent most of her life in various countries around the world, she's been exposed to a lot of different cultures. She's originally from a small island nation in South Asia. There was a revolution there, so her family left. They moved to Iran...revolution there...they left. Moved to Nigeria...revolution there...they left. Moved to Oman (not Iman)...revolution there...they left. Moved back to home nation...still revolting...and now they're all in the good ole USA.

CJ was born in the states, moved away, and moved back for college. However, there are still cultural things she just doesn't fully grasp. If we're out to dinner and have a gay server, she'll poke me and ask, "is he gay?" If I say yes, she says, "you should go out with him." I try to explain just because we're gay doesn't mean we're a perfect, automatic match. I use the example, just because you meet a guy here from small island nation in South Asia, doesn't mean you marry him, right?

Today at work in a pitch meeting, she was complaining about parking attendants giving out tickets. She said "They make me soo mad, you can't see them, they sneak around, and give you a ticket. They're like mean little spooks.!" Of course everyone else laughed and I said, "CJ, you can't call people spooks, it's not nice." The beauty in all this, she didn't get the joke, so it was even funnier.

On a note related to my religion post yesterday...

Today someone said, well that's why God made cell phones. CJ, a Buddhist, says "Well I don't believe in God."

In Jesus Name...Amen.

For the Love of God!

I'm no angel. My worst habits are gossipping and gluttony...so I've got at least one of the seven deadly sins covered.

However, I love my God. While I won't beat you over the head about religion, I can tell you some pretty cool stuff about Jesus our Holy Savior. You might be surprised to know the very people who condemn gays and lesbians (and everyone else) don't really understand what the Bible actually says about homosexuality. Perhaps I'll have a little Sunday Sermon segment about some things you may or may not know.

What frustrates me is Amber (and others like her) from Big Brother 8. When she's not crying and making the ugly face...

... is that she's praying and praying and rubbing that cross around her neck. Again, I'm all about praising and loving the Lord, but wow, Amber really gives God Loving folk a bad name.

I can't phrase it better, so I'm borrowing from the reality blurred blog.

***

Amber and Daniele’s Power of 10 appearance aired last night and offered some bonus Big Brother, but considering that the regular episode was about 10 minutes stretched to 44, it wasn’t much of a bonus.
Amber spent most of her time on the game show looked completely stunned and confused, her mouth hanging open until she had another opportunity to dance like a drunk sorority girl at a party, hands up in the air. But shockingly, she actually beat Daniele at the head-to-head competition, and when the show returned from the break for her to play the individual game, she was, of course, bawling like an emotionally unstable baby.
After winning at the $1,000 level, Amber thanked God—although unlike both Sunday’s and Tuesday’s episodes of the show, she didn’t say the most ridiculous phrase in the history of religious expressions: “God bless you, God.” (What percentage of Americans think Amber’s religion isn’t something she really understands but just consists of phrases she regurgitates?)
Meanwhile, she did her best to prove that she’s an idiot. When Drew Carey asked her about being scrutinized by viewers, she said, “honestly, I don’t know what ‘scrutinized’ means.” The $100,000 question was about pit bull ownership, and after Drew Carey joked about Michael Vick, Amber emphatically declared, “I like Michael Vick”; he then had to remind her that she hasn’t seen the news in a couple months. Her cousin revealed that, surprise, surprise, Amber’s family owned pit bulls, which makes sense, because they seem like the people on TV who say, “my dog was the sweetest dog ever, until it chewed off the neighbor kid’s face.”
After guessing the number of people who think pit bulls shouldn’t be kept as pets, she pleaded, “please God, please,” and started crying even before God showed that he doesn’t really care. She woefully underestimated the number, saying 18 to 38 percent when the answer was 55 percent, lost the $10,000 she had, and went home with just $1,000.
During the actual episode, the editors filled time by showing us extended clips from the game show we’d just watched. At least that was better than more night-vision footage of Jessica and Eric making out, although that’s better than Eric and Jessica sitting around the house talking about making out for hours. And that’s better than more footage of Jameka praying with the soundtrack of monks chanting, which was funny a few times and now just seems offensive. And that was better than more Dick, who basically seemed absent from the house for most of the episode.
The only good thing about that is that his decision led to another Amber meltdown, because anything that doesn’t involve her is wrong. “It’s a cowardly move it’s a selfish move. Eric is a power-hungry person; he’s evil, he’s got no soul,” she said, apparently forgetting that walking out the door Thursday is God’s plan. I hope

***

In Jesus Name, Amen

Place Mats & Matching Napkins

I haven't really decide how much I want to blog about the latest development in my life. I'll give you kids more than breadcrumbs, but since some friends of mine know all the parties involved, I don't want to tell all.

First off, there's not that much to tell.

Friday evening, I drove to the Big City in a terrible thunderstorm. It seemed as if it was a slow moving line that dumped rain and stirred up howling winds. I finally arrive, get a tour of "J"'s beautiful home, unload my bags, and we chit chat for a few.

He suggests we pick up a movie or two, so we're off to rent "Queens and Music and Lyrics". Much to our dissappointment, Queens was in Spanish. Not wanting to read, we watched the romantic comedy staring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. It was a cute little flick. Hugh had a lot of clever lines, and Drew wasn't too over the top.

It's getting late, so we head to bed. (insert comment about being perfect gentlemen...or ladies here).

We wake up, get ready for the day, and head off to a church sponsored golf tourney. I catch up with the A GAYS for a few, then off with another A GAY to show a rental house, and to the pool for a little relaxation. The A GAY couple, "J", and a straight personal trainer played as a foursome. Rather than sitting around or watching all day, swimming sounded pretty good.

Add in a BBQ back at the golf course, a charity auction, and a drive home...that rounded out the evening.

***
retard here left out the reason for the title...

All three A GAYS chipped in and got me a thank you gift from Nordstroms. Very cool blue and brown place mats, napkins, and disposable napkins for the dining table. Such good people these gays are!

***

Sunday was an early start, because "J" goes to both church services. After, we did lunch with some church peeps, came home, took a nap, went for a walk in the park and had some ice cream. Then it was 8:00 and time for me to go.

Sounds kinda boring with not a lot of detail.

I had fun. Things are going well. We're just taking things one day at a time. I'd rather not say more and jinx it all.

I promise I'll try to find a better balance of detail and storytelling.

Later,
"W"

Sarah Says Nothing

Hey all...

Back from a long, fun trip to the Big City.

I did get to see Sarah briefly Saturday evening, but not much time for any Sarah Says fun. I know I know, go ahead and throw rotting vegetables and hiss and boo. She went to a bird show on Sunday, so I didn't see her at church.

Let me just say...

I had an awesome weekend...mostly all great times...a few 'what is going on here times'...I'll explain all in detail later.

From start to finish it was just a wonderful experience.

Hope your week gets off to an Uber-Fabulous start.

"W"

Check Minus

Check minus to "W" for not blogging since Sunday.

Check minus to Big Brother 8. You take away Dustin, then manipulate the players and game just for ratings.

Check minus to a coworker. He didn't want his daily project because it had to do with a dead solider. His brother is currently in Iraq. Tough shit. While I respect the men and women of the Armed Forces, they signed on the dotted line knowing 'what might happen'. To him, I say grow a set and get over it you whiny little bitch.

Check minus to "W" for tossing and turning last night, worrying that he's not good enough to date his new friend (No I'm not looking for sympathy...I'm just waiting for the 'newness' to wear off and him to get tired of me.)

Gold Stars!

Gold Star to Gal Pal Steph for training and getting ready to swim/bike/run a Mini Triathlon. It's the Iron Women's Smackdown Event Sponsored by Playtex. If anyone is in the greater Chicago area this weekend, cheer her on.

Gold Star to Jerry for sending me a really sweet email this morning helping calm my concerns. Actually, he sent it last night, so if i read it before bed, then I wouldn't have tossed and turned.

Gold Star to Guy Pal Dean/Sean whatever his name is for pointing out I totally outed myself in the last post.

Smooches
"W"

Put the Lotion on Your Hands (not the bucket!)

We've hit 95 for 18 days in a row here in Small Town. I think my sweat is sweating.

Not to sound old, but the heat really zaps me, and I just don't feel like doing much when I get home from work/gym. Hence the lack of posts. Plus I worked last night too.

After surviving the A GAYS and several days of work, I had a special little outing (more on that too) Thursday evening.

Cool new guy (Jerry) needed to get away from his family for a bit, so we met for dinner. More getting to know you type talk at the table of my favorite Mexican place. I know, I know...Mexican is not ideal food for a 2nd date...but whatever. Jerry suggests we go take a walk on the riverfront. It's late...9:00ish...so it's cooled off a little. We take a stroll, sit on a bench, and continue talking about this and that. Mosquitoes just love my tasty skin, so I'm swatting and slapping. At one point, a barge is floating by and I reach over to swat away a bug. Jerry says "Wes, I was reaching for your hand and you pulled away." Feeling embarrassed and giggly, I grab his hand. Jerry remarks, "Wow, your hands are rough! I thought they'd be soft because all you do is hold a microphone all day!"

Laughter and hilarity ensued.

We're taking things slowly...a day at a time...this weekend I'll visit him in the Big City and we'll see what happens next.

Oh yeah...I was told I was a good kisser too.

Back to my other 'outing'. Last week at the visitation and funeral, several people paying their respects came over and said, "I know you, you look so familiar." Not that Jerry is obviously gay. But when you get multiple well dressed mo's and a few dykey lesbians...we all stick out like a drag queen at a rugby match...especially in small small small town BFE.

Alrighty...let the countdown to next weekend begin!

"W"

De-press(ed) Secretary

I had my interview today for a job as a press secretary for a member of Congress. Somehow that should impress me more than it does. A week ago, I was elated! Now I'm like...eh.

Mainly because the salary is soooo low. I've already blogged about the poor pay and high cost of living in the DC area.

So since I don't really want the job at this point, I felt very relaxed and comfortable during the interview. It went well. They seemed impressed. Of course they could have just been polite.

Doing my research for the interview, I discovered these staffer types in DC really move from person to person and from agency to agency. I don't want to hop around anymore, so that doesn't appeal to me in the least bit.

However, if I get a 2nd interview, you better bet I'll take a chance to fly to DC for a day or two!

Till next time...
"W"

The "A GAYS" Give "W" an A Plus!

Whew!

I'm exhausted. Too exhausted to explain the last 24 hours.

The three guys were awesome guests. Fun, entertaining, and normal. I had trouble explaining to Lewis (Spirit of...) why I classified the "A GAYS" to begin with. Not that I want to be like these guys in particular...but they're in their early 40's, established, professional, with no kids and plenty of expendable income.

They arrived about two hours later than I expected (they called first to let me know)...I had everything ready just in case...cheese and meat tray, some fresh strawberries, crackers, white and red wine....they didn't need any of that. Monday morning, they needed the one thing I didn't have...coffee. Oops! One of them owns a coffee shop, so I naturally assumed he'd bring his own blend.

Too much to recap and I'm about to pass out.

It's an awkward place for the 2nd date to be the other guy's father's visitation and the 3rd to be the funeral. NOOO...they weren't dates...but I have a feeling there will be more to come.

Later,
"W"

The "A GAYS" Are Coming, The "A GAYS" Are Coming!

And not in a good way either my friends.

Just minutes after I finished wishing everyone a Happy Weekend on Friday morning, I get a call from a good friend in the Big City. He told me that my new cool friend's father passed away overnight.

The friend and his father don't get to see each other that much, but when he came down to visit me for our date last week, he also saw his parents, who happen to live nearby.

Knowing that a lot of church people would be down (new cool friend is the music leader), I offered the bearer of bad news and anyone else, to stay at my apartment if they needed.

I get a call a few hours later from another church member, who I met briefly once or twice, asking if he and another couple could spend the night Sunday evening.

Of course, I said yes, and then realized...these three men are cool new music leader friend's BFF! In fact, they are pretty wealthy, established, "A GAYS" (investment bankers, multiple business owners, etc)...who were already asking CNMLF about me and when they'd get to know me more, etc etc., as a way of checking up on me.

Not only do I have to make a good impression on these people, but I also have to have a spotless apartment. I'm usually a neat person, but the fine details like dusting and sweeping and cleaning every nook and cranny isn't something I do.

I spent the last day scrubbing and polishing and sweeping and dusting and cleaning...now I'm worried I smell like cleanser, furniture polish, and Windex. Better than sewage I guess.

I have a few hours before they'll arrive. I'm thinking we'll only be here a short time before heading to the visitation, but then we'll do dinner (I'm NOT COOKING...Lord knows I can't take any more stress)...and chit chat for the rest of the evening. Worse yet, the funeral isn't until mid afternoon, so I have a whole morning of entertaining these guys.

I'm also dog sitting for Gal Pal, since she went to the Big City without me.

As for cool new music leader friend person...I talked to him a few times the last few days to say hey and let him know I'm thinking about his family. He seems to be holding up well considering, but it's unusual because he's an extremely emotional person. He's the one who had to stop singing at church earlier this year, because he started crying, and Sarah turned to me and said, "Can this church get any gayer?"

It may be a few days before I can post again, but you can bet I'll be blogging about the invasion of the "A GAYS"...

Till then...

Smooches,
"W"

I love God, But I Hate Jews

I'm a few days late on posting about Big Brother 8's whiniest contestant. If it rains, she cries, if the sun comes out tomorrow, she cries, if you tell her she's a good friend, she cries. I'm not sure if Amber will ever shut off the waterworks.

Last night, we saw her unload on the elf-like Eric (who happens to have double nipple piercings), after swearing on her daughters life to save him, and she found out he revealed a big secret. Days earlier, after talking about how it's wrong to be greedy and lie, she lied to a contestant who was getting ready to get the boot. BOLD FACE STRAIGHT UP LIE!

Then she went off on how Jews are bad and greedy and you can tell they're a Jew by the way they talk, their last name, and their nose. Wow. God loves those who love his other children, right?

On to other things....it's been a bitch of an extra busy week at work....no less I'm traveling and outside more in the 98+degree heat.

Good thing Gal Pal and I are heading to the Big City tonight for a weekend of rest and relaxation. I do have another date with Really Cool Guy, so I'll have to let you know how that goes when I get back Sunday.

Stay cool...have a great weekend!

Smooches!
"W"

Guvernmint A$$Istance

The misspellings are to 'protect my privacy'...

So I get a call yesterday at work...it's regarding that DC job I blogged about last week. Yours truly has a phone interview next week!!!

Of course, I'm super stoked about the fact that they at least want to interview me. Work this week is exceptionally bad, since the head boss is gone, and the sub boss wants to wear the big boy pants.

I spent the afternoon researching salaries for said positions, because I know they're public record.

After finding what I was looking for, my heart stopped.

Money isn't everything and it may not buy happiness, but it sure can mean the difference between eating and a really good diet.

Although I haven't been offered a job, and no one has talked $$$ just yet, I see that it would average about a $10K paycut, and a jump to a very expensive city. Cost of living here in SmallTown is pretty cheap. I'm not sure I could swing the move.

Yes, it would be the chance of a lifetime and a very cool job....but wow...I seriously might need to live in government housing or something. Which makes me wonder...is there special housing for federal workers?

My other fear is that this position is more of a stepping stone...I'm not sure I want to chance jumping jobs in the US government area...simply because it could be a tricky business.

Oh well...I have a week to cram and study about the job.

Good news, bad news...sunrise sunsets...swiftly go the years.

Laterz,
"W"

Without Prejudice

It's a new program on the Game Show Network, and I find it totally fascinating.

The tag line is "You can earn $25,000 for just being yourself." The premise is that there are five contestants, eliminated round by round, and it's all decided by a separate panel of five.

The first round, the contestants simply state their name and hometown. Based on their demeanor, appearance, and sometimes geographic location, the panel eliminates one person without getting any more information.

On a recent episode, a rather scraggly haired man was the first to go. The panel members thought he might have a problem with drugs, based on his appearance and sunken in face.

In the second round, the panel listens to statements about the contestant's income, education, and employment.

Round three discusses current events and hot button issues. Immigration, Gay Marriage, Gay Adoption, Race Relations, etc. This is when the debate on the panel really heats up.

The fourth round has the contestants come out for a face to face Q & A with the panel. Then they vote for who gets the quarter mil.

On the recent episode I watched, a 22-year old girl who overcame bone cancer and only had one leg, got the money. The losing finalist was a black man who lives with his parents, works as a attorney, does a lot of charity work at work, and mentors inner city youth as a basketball coach.

Again, all very interesting dynamics and situations.

If you're bored, check it out tonight on the Game Show Network 9Eastern/8Central.

Enjoy
"W"

Happy Anniversary!

Ok, so I'm two days away from the official one year anniversary of the first post on this blog, but today was the celebration for my grandparent's 65th wedding anniversary, so it's close enough.

Quick notes from the weekend and I'll recap more details later.

The date (yes I'll call it that now) on Friday went very well. The guy was a perfect gentleman. We had dinner at a great Asian place, one of my favorite's in town, and he insisted on paying. We then rode around town and chatted a bit, then came back to my place for some very indepth, getting to know you type conversation. I got a quick peck on the lips goodnight (that's his style of smooching, so I've been told, even with friends...so I didn't read anything into that).
We ended up sitting and talking for close to three hours.

Saturday, went home to see dad, helped in tobacco. Fun times...i have blisters from swinging a big knife at the base of the stalks. You have to bend and swing to cut it correctly. It's all about the rhythm. Yes, I did this in the sweltering 93 degree heat...no telling what the heat index was.

Sunday I went to church with Pops, we ate lunch, then I drove by myself to the anniversary shindig. I saw Mom there (remember the folks are 'separated')...she was kinda distant and not herself. A very strained conversation. I did get to see my sister and brother in law and we chatted a lot, but commented how hard it was to see mom and dad apart.

On my way back, I came up with a great plan. It involves the Gal Pal (it just so happens her boyfriend of 4 years lives in the same part of the Big City as my date from the other night)...so I have another date with this wonderful man Friday night...he's invited me to stay in his guest room, then we havent figured out the rest of the weekend, but it'll probably involve me seeing some of my other Big City friends.

BTW...more on the date situation later. It's just nice to meet a good clean professional guy and have dinner and be relaxed (since we already know each other)...and not worry about sex or pressure or anything. Just having fun is a really great feeling.

Later
"W"

Meltdown!

So my low carb diet went out the window with a series of meltdowns. The first one wasn't so bad, but it just snowballed.

Realistically, it's not a smart choice and it's definitely not a lifestyle I can deal with.

Lewis is a genius. He suggested smaller portions of healthy choices. I just need to learn do to that. Mad Queen Bess is also my best friend too because, yeah, sugary bread products are great as well.

My meltdown let me back to caffeine. Took me awhile to realize why I was so jittery last night.

For one, I've got a friend of a friend putting in a good word for me...for a job as a staffer in DC!!! It would be a very cool opportunity. I applied yesterday (at work no less) and emailed in my resume and other information. It's a major long shot, but if you don't apply, you can't get hired.

I'm also excited because I'm off again this Friday, and a cool acquaintance of mine is coming down from the Big City. We're doing dinner and hanging out. It's definitely not a date, but something to look forward too.

Smooches kids...the week is ALMOST OVER!

"W"