The Bitch is Back!

Hip Hip Hurray!

The bitch is back! No, no, it's not me. It's my favorite coffeemaker at the Barnes & Noble Cafe. I affectionately refer to her as "Mrs. B." At first she was one bitch of a barista. Very cold and unfriendly. Her one saving grace was the fact she made OUTSTANDING coffee. White Chocolate Mocha's to be exact. Pure perfection every time was her coffee, but the attitude was sour and surly. Then, without explanation the Ice Queen melted into this really pleasant person. No longer a bitch, she had to be renamed, so Mrs. B was a perfect fit.

By this point, one of my few but loyal readers (emphasis, big big emphasis on few), is probably wondering, where's my shout out. Ok ok, here ya go. Let's raise a glass (or a white chocolate mocha) to my gal pal Stephanie. At first, I'm sure she was worried the title of this post might be in reference to her, but it's not! Stephanie is the ideal gal pal. Instead of fag hag, which is insulting to us both, she's a gal and she's my pal. We do lunch once a week and socialize from time to time. Better yet, she gives tremendous advice. Very sage and wise for her young age, I should add. I should also add I'm just a few months older than her young age. A recent example of her stellar advice....I wanted some clam digger shorts...or 3/4 shorts as the Gap calls them. She said NO! Bad man-pri's, bad bad man-pri's. Just yesterday, I also suggested wearing eyeliner to make my eyes pop a lil more, taking a cue from John Mark Karr, but that's kinda scary/pscyho/sheik...and just not my style.

One day to vacation....WOO HOO!

Workplace Etiquette 101 and Fun Times at Fantastic Sams

So most people at work sit at cubicles. There's one lucky lady who gets her own office (no, she's not a boss type), but she likes to leave her door open. She also doesn't mind having a full out domestic squabble with her husband on the phone with the door open at full volume. Now if I want to see, hear, or take part in a lover's quarrel, I'll watch Springer. Otherwise, keep your door closed and your personal life at home. This process repeats at least once a week. I'm thinking lady get yourself some shame or pride...either will do.

My inaugural post was about my good friend CJ. While she's a US citizen, she spent part of her life growing up in various countries which always seemed to be having some sort of little revolution or whatnot, and her family had to flee from place to place. So I think that lapse in US time leaves her void of certain traditions or lacking in knowing the way we do things. One of the most recent example. She wanted to get a haircut, and decided she'd try out my friend and personal stylist Jerry. So at 4:30 she asks, do you think Jerry would have time to cut my hair at say 7:00 tonight? I looked at her and said, "sweetie, it's not SuperKuts or Fantastic Sams, you don't just GO!" She appeared hurt and confused. I wanted to give her the example...do you really want to go to someone to fix your hair who has an open schedule, or someone who's wildly popular around town with a one week (at least) waiting list because they're soo busy since everyone wants to go there? Hmmm. The other side is that I see where people wait to the last minute to make an appointment. One day their hair is ok and manageable, the next day it is out of control and long overdue for a cut. So it's a slippery slope.

Blogging Blahs

I know, I know, I haven't been blogging in nearly a week now. I figured I'd be writing about things that happen in my life or general observations. Uh folks, my life isn't that interesting.

I think too, I'm distracted by the thought of vacation...ahh...beach, drink, beach, drink, sleep, ahhh...and I'm worried that I won't pack everything or I'll forget something or Tropical Storm whatever it is (not Debby), will form into a Hurricane and hit the Gulf Coast again. Here I am complaining about not ruining my vacation, when exactly a year ago, Katrina was forming.

So...until I can think of something better to write about...I'll take a small break.

Till then...

*smooches*

Excuse me sir, I can see your man boobs

It's good that friends can be brutally honest. Case in point, my good pal Jerry. He's not afraid to let you know what he's thinking. Unfortunately today, his truthfulness hit home. Luckily it hit in a soft, well padded area known as my waist.

We were shopping in that new French store, Target, pronounced tar-gay, and I was picking up a few things for vacation. I'd already resigned myself to buying, YIKES, 36" shorts. I'm usually a 34", but it seems shorts are running small these days. Yeah, keep telling yourself that "W". So I sucked it up rather than sucking it in, and decided I needed a shirt to match. Whoever invented 'athletic fit' needs to be shot. First in the balls, then in the head, then again in the balls. While I can appreciate the 'athletic fit' look on men who are athletic, the average man doesn't really need that style shirt. Anyhoo, I hold up a large, which would normally work fine, when friend Jerry chimed in, Um maybe you need an XL.

*Record scratch*

Ok...ouch.

He was like, "you know those athletic fits are tight and snug and will probably shrink when you wash." My reply was simple. "I won't wash it...ever."

So after a little soul searching, I reluctantly headed to the changing room with both L and XL in hand. First went the extra large. A little too roomy. Gave the appearance of a hip hop artist. I'm way to white for that. On with the large. It fit fine around the waist (which is my biggest concern), but slightly more fitting around my athletic pecs...uh man boobs. Ok I don't need a bra, a bro, or a manziere, but I'm waffling on that fine line. So I went with the L.

I weight in about 180#. Yes, I could stand to lose about 10-15 pounds. My issue...I can diet and exercise and cut carbs and sugars and suffer and get down to 170...but no lower...no matter how hard I try. So I try to find that happy medium around 175, without starving myself. What's the point of being miserable, if it's not going to make a big difference?

So let them eat cake! And pie, and cobbler, and ice cream.

"Carry on our Wayward Son,

There'll be peace when you are done,

Lay your weary head to rest,

Don't you cry no more"

Lyric of the Day - Carry on Wayward Son - Kansas

Comfort Zone

That's where I live folks, in a comfort zone. Not to be confused with the Twilight Zone...*cue scary TZ music*...but a comfort zone.

Of course there's nothing wrong with being comfortable, in fact it's great. Problem occurs when you get too comfortable and won't change or don't take a risk to try something new or different. My Gawd I'm a Republican. NO NO NO. Uh, back on track, it's kinda scary or threatening to think about moving up and on in life...to a new city...to a new job...to a new experience. For the most part, I enjoy my small town life. No crime, no pollution, no traffic, but alas no fun here either. I'm surrounded by people who think Faux News is accurate and quality stuff, by people who say "the Bible says so and so" when they don't have a clue as to what's really in the Good Book, by people who think good eatin' happens at Texas Roadhouse or the Olive Garden. Ok, so I like the OG, I'll stop throwing stones.

Enter my good friend "Sean". A wonderful chap I met earlier this summer, who if circumstances were right, I'd kidnap and force to be my houseboy. He offers everything I want in a significant other. Intelligent, witty, charming, good looking, but totally not the "TYPE" I'd describe as my type. Funny how life throws a curveball and it still helps you get a good hit. (sorry for the bad baseball analogy). Anyhoo, "Sean" really challenges me in a good way, teaches me things, and helps me grow as a person. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago, he had to go halfway around the world for his job. He'll return in the Spring. We had fun together, I knew he was leaving at the end of summer, so I was prepared for saying goodbye...only I didn't get to, because we didn't see each other before he left.

"Sean" writes in a recent email...

"I've always wanted to live and work outside the US for a while. And if you want to be a hawk and watch... I hope it's what makes you happy. And if it's not... then I hope you find what does make you happy. There is a world of difference between struggling with what you don't like and struggling with what you do like. The work might be as grueling, but the pay-off is so much better. Are you happy, W?"

Yikes.

My take on it. Wow. I'm not the kind to go off exploring for adventure. Living in a new place in the U S scares the beejeezus out of me, let alone a foreign country. Kudos to "Sean" for living his dream and making it happen. Right now, I'm happy. Could I be happier? Sure! I could also be pretty miserable too. Finding the balance in between is not easy to do. Do I hate my job? Eh, no. I don't love it either, but I really don't see myself doing anything else.

When it comes time to move on or change, I'll know when the time is right. However, it's just like "Sean" to challenge me, make me think, and for that I thank him. Here's to "Sean", I wish him the best on all his journeys in life, and I hope our paths cross again soon.

"Roam if you want to,

Roam around the world

Roam if you want to,

Without wing, without wheels,

Roam if you want to,

Without anything but the love we feel."

Lyric of the Day - Roam - The B52's

Hey Girl or The One About Boogina

I'm not one to shout "oh girlfriend", "Mary, Mary", or even "Sistuh", but last week, YIKES!

In a matter of five minutes, I heard several grown straight men in various uniforms say "hey girl" to a various women as they passed by. Not as in "hey girl, fabulous shoes", but as in a greeting or salutation. "Hey girl!" Hmm. To me, that sounds just as queer as girlfriend, Mary, sistuh, sweetie, sugar-pie, etc.

Better yet, I'm not one to wear boots and a cowboy hat (well, not in public anyway), but all this "Hey girl" stuff was going on at a local rodeo where the nights main events included bareback riding and steer wrestling. More than once, I heard manly men exclaiming their excitement about getting to watch the bareback riding. Um....yeah.

While I'm on the subject of queers and steers, ok bad transition, but oh well, I don't promise quality stuff here at "Days of..."

I'm not sure if you're familiar with the program "Noah's Arc" on Logo...the GLBT network.

Conveniently, season one came out on DVD last Tuesday, before the premiere of the first episode of season two on Wednesday. So last Tuesday, I went on a hunt with my friend and personal hairstylist Jerry to find Noah's Arc. He wanted it, I didn't. More on that in a minute. No luck at Best Buy, but we went in two by two in Target and came out three by three with the Ark in hand!

I've seen several episodes of said arc. It's funny, clever, and full of flaming black men. I about wet myself when I heard the word "Boo-gina"...as in man-gina.

Here's one reference from the show ... "If I'm giving up the boogina to Jorge then he's gonna have to tell his parents about me and him. N'uff said."

Boogina. N'uff said.

If you're still wanting more, check it out at the urban dictionary.

Well, that's more than enough for Monday.

Oh Bennie she's really keen

She's got electric boots, a mohair suit

You know I read it in a magazine

Bennie and the Jets

Lyric of the Day - Bennie and the Jets - Sir Elton John

Shake Your Bon Bon

Sorry to disappoint the hordes of readers. I've been out of town for a bit, and too lazy to post before I left or when I got back late last night.

Sorry to disappoint anyone thinking this post would be an homage to one Mr. Ricky Martin. Although, those pics floating around of he and his 'brother' earlier this year on some Greek beach. YUM. Shake it Ricky, shake that bon bon. Yeah, it's old, but c'mon it's good eye candy.

http://images.google.com/images?q=Ricky+Martin+speedo&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images

This post is actually about a co-worker of mine and his affinity for bon bons. Yup, he's 6'3, 220ish, and a very manly man. Likes football, baseball, crushing beer cans on his head, and bon bons. Imagine his surprise and excitement when we stopped off at a convenience store and he found these http://www.dreyers.com/brand/dibs/images/fl_carton_D.gif ... yup the creamy, chocolatey, DIBS. Ever comfortable with his masculinity and sexuality, the co-worker commented "Dibs..hmm...they're good, but still not my bon bons!"

Oh, and I'm kinda learning how to hyperlink or whatever, so I'm not sure if I did it right. I'm sure my buddy Dirk over at http://dirkmancuso.blogspot.com/ will help me out. Sad that I keep plugging him, when he's my lone and loyal reader. So Dirk, go read yourself...or something.

"I wanna be your lover, your only Latin lover,

We'll go around the world in a day,

Don't say no, no shake it my way,

Shake your Bon Bon, Shake your Bon Bon"

Lyric of the day - Ricky Martin - Shake Your Bon Bon

Dog Days of Summer

It's hot, it's sticky, and not in a good way. Ok ok, so it's August, it's supposed to be hot and humid, and I don't need some cheesy newsperson to fry an egg on the sidewalk or stand in front of a bank clock showing it's 105 degrees.

However, this post isn't just me complaining about the Dog Days of Summer. Last night at work, someone brought in their puppy. Not just for a few minutes, but for three frickin' hours! Don't get me wrong, I like animals (except fish), and I really like dogs. Trust me, I'm a dog person, not a cat or fish kinda guy.

*Cue rimshot and laugh track*

So this coworker brought in her puppy, because she claimed he'd been home all day by himself and needed to be around people. HELLO! It's a dog, not something that needs constant attention, like a souffle, a new born, or Chilltown from Big Brother All Starz. Color me confused, I'm just not sure why a dog can't stay at home. It's a workplace for crying out loud. Granted, we're pretty laid back, but still. Unless you work in a vets office, a pet store, or a taxidermy, there's really no need to bring along a yippy little dog. People who think their pets are human need to get lives. I understand completely about the companionship factor, there's a fine line. Don't get me started on people who let their pets kiss and lick their mouth. Ew.

Speaking of Big Brother All Starz...it's pretty disappointing. No one from Season Six deserves to win. Ok, ok, Kaysar could win, because he's all kinds of hot. He's Grade A, prime cut, Iraqi beef. Even with a shaved head. The Season Six kiddos are clueless. Take out the next biggest alliance (Chilltown, Will, Boogie, and maybe Danielle), then pick off everyone else. HELLO! It ain't rocket science. Plus, Dr. Will already won once, why let him stick around any longer. The man needs to spend a little time out in the sun, get a haircut, and get a spine.

Oh, and it's time to give a big shout out to Mr. Dirk Mancuso *cue sultry sax riff*, for checking out my blog. Smooches and unshameless plug. Check him out! Thanks for the inspiration.

http://dirkmancuso.blogspot.com/

And all the white folks shake their asses

Looking for the two and four

I'll have mine in martini glasses

Cause I can't take it anymore

Lyric of the Day "Members Only" - Sheryl Crow

Caitlin, That is NOT a Balloon!

Ok, I'm still not exactly sure what direction this blog is taking, so it'll probably be just odds and ends.

And now, for Caitlin that's not a balloon!

"--Claiming that their young daughter discovered a used condom in a Las Vegas hotel bed and then put the rubber in her mouth, a Scottish couple is suing Caesar's Palace for negligence and emotional distress. According to a lawsuit filed July 13 in Clark County District Court, five-year-old Caitlin Kilcoyne found the condom during a July 2004 Sin City visit with her parents Gerald and Jacqueline. Caitlin "found a used condom in the made up bed in her room...and placed the condom in her mouth," notes the complaint, The Kilcoynes contend that, following the incident, they incurred expenses for medical treatment, hospitalization, x-rays, drugs, and "evaluation and treatment of Caitlin's condition." The lawsuit does not indicate what, if any, lasting damage was caused to the child. The complaint, which seeks in excess of $10,000 in damages, claims that the family has suffered "shock, horror, fear, anxiety, and distress."

Yuck!

Lyric of the Day

I left my man in Houston, Texas,

Just before he finished breafkast,

He said Oh babe fry some more eggs,

I was already running on my own two legs.

"Music is the Victim" - Scissor Sisters

First Time...Or CJ & The Tranny

Ok. Wow. This is pretty exciting and scary. First time posting. Whew.

So the other day, my friend CJ happened to be in court and tells me she thinks she saw a tranny. Now keep in mind, CJ is super-intelligent, but when it comes to her gaydar or in this case, tranny-dar, well she's about as accurate as Miss Cleo. Come to think of it, CJ kinda looks like Miss Cleo's niece or something. Anyhoo, I asked CJ to describe said tranny. She replies, "Well he had on false eyelashes, a sparkly top, capri pants, painted toenails, oh and a moustache!" I was thinking she desribed any woman over 60 at my family reunion, but that's another story.

Ok. Gonna make this first one short and sweet, because I have no clue if this will work or not.

Lyric of the Day

So you think you're the bomb, yeah well so did I,

Say you don't want it, you say you don't want it,

but you don't really mean it.

Tori Amos - "Spark"