One (Saturday) Night in Bangkok

When last we left our fearless world traveler...he was heading out to experience gay nightlife in Bangkok.

Let me rewind to some Saturday afternoon notes...

As Sean was fixing a very tasty late lunch, I noticed the blaring music from the corner motorcycle stand. A group of 4-6 men were laughing, dancing, throwing water, and having an amazing time. They would stand in the street, waving down cars and other motorcycles passing by, to stop and share the Songkran fun.

Even from a distance atop Sean's 7th floor balcony, you could see the smiles and hear the laughter above the dance music. Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" and a few other not so current American songs were repeated on a single CD over and over...but you could tell the men didn't get tired...as they partied on for several hours throughout the afternoon. Oddly enough, when we went to get some water from a machine across the street, the trees blocked out most of the noise.

After a quick nap and getting all gussied up for a night out, Sean and I dodged the water war by taking a side street around and hailing a taxi. We proceeded to the SkyBar (in my last post)...paid too much for just average drinks, but got the above average view. Once back down 64 floors, I decided I was hungry and needed a sweet treat, so we went to a grocery nearby, appropriately named "Tops".

You'll notice a blurry Starbucks above Tops Super...I kept that place in business on my trip, as well as one in a mall with a Sizzler Restaurant. Another moment of Western amusement on my part. Back to Tops...inside another Tops near the Skybar, attached was a restaurant called "MK" . It's a chain soup restaurant. Several years ago, they wanted to attracted a younger crowd, so they started making the servers sing and dance for entertainment. (as in some steakhouses with line dancing in the USA). I was strolling past, eating a chocolate twist pastry (a bit dry), and saw a stream of yellow shirts dancing and doing some funny little routine. I grabbed my camera...but somehow failed to take the picture. I can't find a photo online of them dancing anywhere...but it's TRULY hilarious, considering most of the workers were not enjoying themselves, and all of the patrons were busy eating their yummy soup.

Apparently, the dry pastry wasn't enough, so we headed toward Starbucks where I got a caffeine fix along with a slice of carrot cake.

We arrived at DJ Station, again by carefully dodging the squirt guns and water cannons. Sean's best tip was to walk fast and not make eye contact. Otherwise you're a willing target!

It's around 10-ish, and like any good club or bar, the crowd hasn't gathered just yet. After passing though metal detectors and getting two drink tickets that I'd never use, Sean gave me a tour...up stairs, around a corner, to an upstairs balcony overlooking the dance floor and stage area. We staked out a good spot and planted ourselves...looking around as the bar quickly filled up. Sean explained that Thai culture is a bit different. Gay or straight there's not much PDA, and while some guys will take off their shirts, it's more rare than you'd see in any Gay Bar USA. Muscle shirts are ok, but tank tops are a bit on the slutty side. Good thing I left both at home right?

However, I soon noticed a gay bar is a gay bar is a gay bar, no matter what side of the world you're on. The drag show started late. Of course! Any diva queen worth her salt holds up the show just for fun. With a nearly packed crowd, the curtains came back and a familiar song began. Two backup dancers appeared, beginning a simple but cute choreographed routine. One seemed to have fun and really smile, the other looked very nervous. Both men appeared to be 14-15, but Sean reassured me they were at least 20. As the words to Deborah Cox's classic "Absolutely Not" joined the pulsing dance beat, a queen appeared, and began the show.

Again, like most drag queens in the US, this one didn't know all the words. I, being a queen of a different kind, knew them and mouthed along anyway. What struck me though, and I'd soon come to realize this was the case across the board, is that Thai men make much prettier drag queens than American men.

So yeah, the softer features of Asians certainly help...the rather inexpensive cost in Thailand for sex change operations is probably another reason too.

I was dually impressed by the 'queen' queens medley from Dream Girls. While I haven't seen the film, I did recognize "One Night Only"...more impressive was the queen's quick costume change between songs. Each gown was more dramatic and glitzy than the one before. Albeit a little long, they were beautiful!

One by one, the queens performed. (I think they had 2-3 queens, and four backup boys total). The last number was my favorite...because the backup boys had on tight white briefs that said "I'm Virgin" on the right cheek. While three of 'em I could leave without, the one with muscular thighs had me from hello.

We bumped into some friends of Sean's and chatted for a bit. One spoke English, but talked so fast, I had no idea what he was saying. So I just smiled and nodded. And just like any gay bar in the US or elsewhere, you'd see all sorts of types. Nelly queens, muscle studs, avg guys, hot guys, not so hot guys, etc etc. Because it's a bit more obvious with a Caucasian older man and much younger looking Thai boy, the whole sugar daddy thing was apparent and a bit nauseating when you'd see it from time to time.

And since I have no shame, I'll go ahead and tell my devastating story for the night. I spotted the hottest guy there...looked more Japanese than Thai (but like I knew)...brown polo and jeans...chatting with this hideous excuse for a man...so after talking about him with Sean, he suggested we go stand near him. As we pushed our way down the stairs to the cram packed dance floor, Hot Brown Polo's friend made it clear he didn't want any competition. Being 6'5 has it's advantages (even I felt tall at 5'10...ok 5'9 and a half)...Sean led the procession right past them, squeezing by both of them, much to Quasimodo's dismay.

That wasn't the devastating part. Making one last loop around the bar, we went up to the third floor. I went to the bathroom, and was startled yet again to see a female custodian cleaning up inside...with men present. It happens all over the place, which just struck me as odd. Ok ok, so the bad part...we were leaving...I eyed two more cuties and told Sean I would give them my drink tickets. So I walked over, stuck the tickets between them...and they look at me in disgust and say 'NO!'

Dejected, embarrassed, and pride dented, I returned to Sean's side and we headed home. I will point out, Sean successfully unloaded one of his drink ticket's to a cute man who couldn't stop smiling all night. I gave Sean my ticket's and said "for your next trip here."

Tomorrow...a post about the World's Largest Outdoor Market and a visit to a place I'd never expect to go...

"W"